On Purpose 31 December 2007

On this New Year’s Eve, I’ve got just one question for you: Are you living on purpose, people?

I attended Unity’s Kwanzaa extravaganza yesterday & learned that the word Nia means “purpose.” By knowing your Nia & working towards it, life can become that much more fulfilling for you. This message dovetailed perfectly with the point of the book I just finished entitled The Science of Being Great by Wallace D. Wattles. Originally published in 1911, the book is a short, simple plan for achieving personal power & tapping into individual greatness. Wattles explains in easy, logical language ways to awaken your inner Abraham Lincoln & avoid the Napoleon complex completely.

The book reveals:

• the simple secret to greatness for everyone, regardless of heredity or opportunity
• why life naturally favors & assists our progress
• the overlooked, ever-flowing source of our personal power
• the vital need to form a central conception of yourself

Your purpose & mine, according to Wattles, is to “give expression to what he (God) is trying to give the world, through you….(Like the) little boy at the piano, the music in whose soul could not find expression through his untrained hands…The spirit is seeking to do great things with us, as soon as we will train our hands & feet, our minds, brains, & bodies.”

In the coming year, I’d ask each of you to search your soul to know your Nia. Find your own purpose & potential for greatness, as it’s in there. The planet & this Pixie can’t wait to see you shine! Like someone at PostSecret said,

Let’s celebrate our great 2008!

Yes, Yogi 26 December 2007

My Yogi tea bag today says, “Let things come to you.” While it’s imperative to set goals & go after them, sometimes you gotta stop, surrender & see what shows up. I’m grateful, as the year draws to an end, for my unexpected gift that keeps on giving.

I attended an event at Donna Karan’s Urban Zen Initiative a few weeks ago. For several months, I’d been hearing about the organization’s work, blending alternative therapies with treatment for patients & was intrigued. If anyone’s Urban Zen, it’s the Urban Pixie, right? I hoped to speak to someone about a possible connection & take it from there. With Laura Day leading an intuition exercise, the night was right!

Walking to the West Village after work, I felt cold upon arrival. I browsed the clothing, books & art available for purchase towards the cause & noshed on nibbles while I warmed up. I spied a handsome, hip, so-not-straight guy doing the same thing. While our eyes met a few times, neither of us struck up a conversation. We ended up on opposite sides of the room for the short program, but I never stopped sensing him out there.

Afterwards, eager to head home, I b-lined for the boy, saying, “I’m supposed to talk to you.” He replied, “I know, I’m supposed to talk to you, too,” without missing a beat. Like members of the same tribe, we just knew. I found out that he, JD’s, a life coach, full of positive energy, who empowers people to live the life they imagine. We exchanged stories & cards, certain we’d follow-up on each other.

JD called the next day & left an authentic, oh-so-open voice mail expressing enthusiasm over our meeting. I reciprocated in less than an hour, feeling no need to cultivate aloofness. We had our first drink date within that same week. He brought friends who I so adored & we all bonded in a big way.

The day after, JD called to tell me how I “exceeded his expectations” & wondering when we could get together again. I told him, “as soon as possible, pu-leeze!” He rang again on Christmas & I returned his call quickly, thinking the same thing. Yes-sir-ee, I’m in love with my new gay boyfriend. Meeting him was the easiest, most effortless exchange I’ve had in ages. I thank God for the gift of his friendship & shall add him to my collection of magnificent men-who-like-men & love me. (I know they’re available the other way, too.)

I went to Urban Zen seeking a connection of another kind. While that may/may not come to fruition, I got exactly what I needed that night. So thanks, Yogi, for the reminder to “let things come to you.” I know I won’t be disappointed when they do!

Xmas Eve and the City 25 December 2007

Last night was another example that the Universe knows best. My original plans were altered so I found myself in Union Square, heading to a Mexican restaurant on Xmas Eve. Swept up in a crowd of kids, I went a few blocks in the wrong direction but I was far from lost. The sight of Grace Church on Broadway at 11th took my breath away, leaving a wide smile in its wake. Upon seeing my joy, a very handsome man smiled boldly back as we crossed in opposite directions. This church, looking right out of Oxford, has always been there but I’d never noticed it. Upon closer inspection, the schedule was full of appropriate Xmas Eve activities. I took note in case I wanted to explore the Episcopal option afterwards.

Betsy & I enjoyed a leisurely meal with all the chips & guac girls could ask for & then some. After our gift exchange, the charming waiter dropped off tequila shots for Feliz Navidad on the house. Neither of us were up for it but the two NYU dudes next to us were more than happy to take them off our hands. I made sure we snuck the empty glasses back to our table in appreciation of a gentleman’s gesture.

I mentioned stumbling upon the lovely church to Betsy as we were leaving dinner. Away from her family for the first Christmas, Betsy eagerly asked if we could go have a look. We arrived at 9:30 for the 8 o’clock service & caught the perfect amount of church (a mere 45 minutes) which included: the second-half of the sermon; contributing our “biggest bills” to the outreach collection; and a lovely candle-lit singing of Silent Night. As we headed back onto Broadway, we glimpsed the glow of the magical moon overhead. Its light so bright over the people & steeple put the big bow on our Christmas Eve, perfect in ways we could not possibly have planned.

Pardon the poor pixels, but look at that luna:

May your feet lead your heart

where it knows you should go.

Ho, ho, ho!

I Leica 23 December 2007

I was such a good girl in 2007 that Santa splurged on a fancy-schmancy Leica V-Lux for me. With German engineering in my artistic grasp, I’ll take my photographer self to an entirely different level next year. Isn’t she pretty?

But since I didn’t go to Seattle, it came to me today. While I was itching to get clicking, my new baby would not be braving the elements just yet. Luckily, the Fuji FinePix played well in the rain & New York never looked better to me! I hope you agree.

Home in the Heights

Isn’t it Divine?

Columbia Column

Red Light

Thanks to brilliant Bruce & Ed for inviting the Pixie to Christmas & encouraging me to shine on, loud & proud. I urge you to do the same, as the world anxiously awaits your gift. & we know it’s gonna be great!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

Danke, Duke 22 December 2007

In the spirit of the season, Melisa sent me this one courtesy of Duke’s Chowder House in Seattle. May it warm the cockles of your holiday heart as it did hers:

A Box Full of Kisses

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3 year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, “Don’t you know when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?” The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, “Oh Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into the box…all for you Daddy.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who put it there. In a very real sense, each of us humans, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family or God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

I hope that this touches your heart and makes you feel fortunate to be on the planet.

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

Happy Holidays!
~ Duke

While I’ll miss the small kisses of my own little people this year, I know my nephews are out there loving me “from infinity to beyond” just like Buzz Lightyear says!

 

Messenger Man 20 December 2007

This week, I stand in awe of our Universe. Several sliding doors & trains-not-taken brought me a magical message that moved me miles ahead. Removing some mystery from my history, this communique came to me in a way more ingenious than I could have ever imagined. I’ll tell you what, as they say down south, I know now there’s no such thing as “an accident.”

I’ve got an acquaintance here in New York who’s come in & out of my life. While we’re practically neighbors, we don’t talk or hang-out anymore which is the way I’ve wanted it. We lost contact when something he did drove me away; We renewed it recently as an elevator opened at just the right time. Full of ebullient energy inside a subway station, I greeted him with open heart & arms, much to his surprise. He asked me to meet him for coffee which I did last weekend & I officially accepted his amended apology.

In the course of the conversation, we swapped stories of lessons learned. We agreed that the central spiritual take-away of all programs, seminars, workshops & writings is essentially the same one of self-love & impeccability in actions towards others. He went on to tell me how what happened to him at 15 with his first love-lost has dictated his behavior in all subsequent sexual relationships. For whatever reason, he’d been encouraged to end it abruptly, deciding by default then & there that he didn’t deserve that kind of love. He’s been “an asshole,” lying & cheating his way through women (present company included) ever since.

Listening to this, something stirred inside. I had to hear him say it just that way to comprehend that I’d done something very similar. Losing my own young love at 16, I pretended it hardly hurt & went on to ensure it never happened again. I spent 20 years of my love-life crumb collecting & enjoying unavailable men of all shapes & sizes.

I came home from coffee on Saturday sick to my stomach & feeling the deep-seated sorrow of the me I used to be. Cried out again for now, sure of what I both deserve & desire, I’m ready to rock the real deal again. I’m amazed at my increased enlightenment in this area & feel blessed that I didn’t shoot my unlikely messenger.

The boy I loved so long ago lives on this same small island now. Perhaps he’ll read this & smile for while. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll tell him in person all those things I’ve wanted to say. We can’t predict the wonderfully wacky ways of this world. & I, for one, wouldn’t have it any other way.

“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” – Khalil Gibran

Give Peace a Place 19 December 2007

Please allow me to direct your attention to the Peace Alliance, advocating for the official establishment of the U.S. Department of Peace. I can’t think of a better time than this holiday season to start spreading goodwill on Earth, can you?

Designed to allocate resources both domestically & internationally towards ending violence, social discord & helping harmony find a home, the U.S. Department of Peace is “still just a bill.” Let’s help it leap into law, shall we?

“More than an end to war, we want an end to the beginning of all war.” – Franklin Roosevelt

Knocked Up 17 December 2007

According to Marianne Willamson, we’re all pregnant with possibility, especially at Christmas. I heard Marianne speak yesterday at Unity & ’twas reason this season to be jolly indeed! More than a simple sermon, Marianne led a call to action, challenging each of us to give birth to the potential gestating inside.

She laid out a metaphysical metaphor, with Mary standing for the mothering, creative part of each person. Doing so, Marianne implored us not to abort the process of giving life to our greatness, as is often the fearful human way. She went on to say that the “Angels heard on high” represent our own inner voice, foretelling of an incredible idea incubating inside. The baby Jesus is a symbol for that potential brought fully into form. Fragile at first, our creation requires time & attention to grow so we have Joseph, standing steady nearby, to play the practical, masculine part.

Marianne remarked that God will use me & he’ll use you for something extraordinary if we listen & let him. So often we create our own glass ceiling with a bunch of buts. Adding, “the data collection is done, people,” Marianne incited us all to stop stalling & do it now. She reminded us that we’re equipped enough already (with technology & money) & cautioned that we cannot afford to say the next generation will take care of saving our endangered Earth.

Marianne ended by encouraging us to motivate each other to start shining in the now. I know that I gotta do it my way, as no one else possibly can, & so do you. So, pregnant party-people, are you ready to pop out your potential this Christmas? If so, please join me in saying, in the words of the lovely & talented Ms. Williamson, “This planet ain’t seen nothing yet!”

All You Gotta Do Is Ask 12 December 2007

Let me tell how it works in my world. I headed home last night to veg out again with the Prison Break boys which I did until 10:00. While another episode remained on the DVD, I knew it was time to turn it off. I decided to call my dear friend, Sarah, before settling into my meditative moments. Much to my surprise & delight, she was up & available one hour earlier, in her busy Wisconsin world.

We swapped stories for about an hour before I remembered to ask about her friend, M., who’d had a party over the weekend. M., at age 35, has recently reconnected with her Birth Parents (BPs) & it’s been a wonderful addition to her life. The BPs gave M. up for adoption at 18, unready for the awesome responsibility, but later went on to marry & build a family. On Saturday, Sarah had the chance to ask the Birth Mother (BM) about the reunion from her perceptive, seeing how happy they all seem to be. Here’s roughly how the story goes.

About two years ago, the BPs got a letter from the state listing only the name & number of a contact at their office. It also included a short statement requesting they call about “a very private matter of utmost importance.” They knew it was the letter they’d been waiting for all along. While the office remained closed until morning, M’s BPs googled the worker in hopes of more intel, then sat up all night. The BM told Sarah, “I wondered what M. needed – heart, kidney, lung – & thought, I’ve got it to give, I’ve got it to give.” She went on to say she wasn’t sure what took M. so long to seek them out. But in the end, all that matters is that she did. They are in each other lives now & no organs have needed exchanging.

With that warm tale, Sarah & I got off the phone. I meditated then hit the hay, relaxed & ready to sleep. At 4:30 a.m., though, I woke up, unable to resist the call of my motivated mind. I got ready fast for the early a.m. train to the office. Running out the door, I grabbed Lessons in Truth by H. Emilie Cady which I am re-reading in intervals whenever it speaks to me from the shelf. Metaphorically, I mean. (When spreading this stuff, I’ve learned one must be careful to clarify.)

Missing a train by a few short seconds, a neighbor & I exchanged hellos, smiled, then she said, “There’ll be another one.” To which I replied, “Yep, that just wasn’t our train.” We headed down to the empty benches. At 6:23, neither one of us had any reason to rush.

I started reading the chapter in Lessons In Truth entitled, “Thinking,” once on the train. It differentiates between the spirit, soul & body, while encouraging the reader to listen to that “still small voice inside.” Cady talks of surrender to love, in a move away from the intellect. We can, once in a space of openness, access the Spirit of self inside. The bounty of blessings waiting all along for us to become ready is then free to flow, no longer being rebuffed by the mortal mind. The chapter ended by saying that the limited human brain cannot even conceive of all the amazing good that God, Source, Universe (whatever word works for you), has to offer us. Cady ends with these words,

“While the child is calling out for its Father-Mother God, the Father-Mother is yearning with infinite tenderness to satisfy the child.

In the heart of a man, a cry, In the heart of God, supply.”

From the open heart within me, I leave you with the words of my friend, Thomas Jackson, “I am ready to believe. I am ready to receive.” Are you?

It Really is All Good 9 December 2007

Never a fan of the phrase, “it’s all good,” it took on new meaning for me last night. Thanks to Thomas the Pigeon Whisper, I can say it today & know in my heart the practical purpose it serves. We were all prettied up for a friend’s fabulous holiday soirée & I took my little black dress out on the town & train:

Dancing & downing guacamole goodness, Thomas taught me a thing or two between bites. I confessed that I periodically grow impatient & attached to the outcome of this crush or that writing contest. While my meditation works its magic most of the time, the over-analysis paralysis still pops up. Thomas told me to remember when that happens that my inner enjoyment of individuals & engagement in the creative life is what matters most. Feeling the rush for writing or over a certain someone is an incredible experience of aliveness, making for moments not to be missed. “And that my friend,” said Thomas, “really is all good.”

So I’d like to thank you, dear Thomas, for being a bright light right back & for teaching me a huge lesson last night: I write & love simply because it feels so good. I am blessed to have you in my life. Let’s go make that movie, man.

In this joyous holiday season, may you all find the thing to make your heart sing!